Researchers affirm almost daily that stress lies at the root of many illnesses -- both mental and physical.  The next time a vein tries to pop through your forehead, reach for one of these gentle stress-reducing strategies.  They may not surprise you, but they'll work:
 

1. FIGHT OR FLEE

    The prehistoric response to stress (bumping into a hungry saber-tooth tiger, for instance) was to fight the beast or take flight.  That's still a sound strategy.

    Carole Lewis, a professor at George Washington University's College of Medicine, suggests running away from the cause of your stress whenever possible.  If your father-in-law gets on your nerves, try to spend less time with him.  If the morning rush hour drives you crazy, plan to leave home earlier.  You can always spend time before office hours reading.

    Another form of flight is called the calming response.  Take a deep breath;  deep breathing slows down the heart rate.  Tell yourself "My body is calm";  release your breath and tell yourself "My body is quiet".  This simple exercise can be done anytime you feel stresses, to give you a minute's relaxation.

    When flight is impractical, fight.  Not physically, but mentally, advises Lewis.  Try to change the way you think about stress.  Ask yourself why a certain thing bothers you.  Are you sweating the small stuff?  Is worrying about it making anything better?  Changing your attitude about the problem might relieve your stress.

    You can also fight back by exercising.  If you haven't exercised for a while, start off slow.  Soon, you'll be in great shape, and you'll feel more relaxed.
 

2. GET CREATIVE

    Creative endeavors reduce stress in two ways.  First, activities like acting, playing an instrument, painting, and cooking can all be relaxing experiences.  Second, expressive activities like poetry and song can lend a voice to the feelings you've kept bottled up.  Poetry and song lyrics often express the very emotions you are feeling, and are commonly used in art-based therapy.

    Want to get rid of that jumpy feeling with music?  "Start out with music that fits the mood you're in." says June Pulliam, music psychotherapist and member of the National Association for Music Therapy.  Begin with frantic music if that's the way you're feeling, then listen to progressively slower selections until you feel relaxed.  Pulliam points to one client who found herself trapped in a traffic jam.  Noticing that the car radio was playing music with a fast and furious beat, the client switched to more soothing music and felt her frazzled nerves calm.
 

3.  VOLUNTEER

    Everyone has certain gifts, knowledge, and experience that can be shared with those who are inexperienced or less fortunate.  Some studies suggest that helping others reduces stress and leads to better health.  "Donating your time could be a way of feeling that you're doing something positive." says George Mount, executive director of the American Academy of Behavioral Medicine.

    Volunteer activities can take your mind off your own stresses and give you a quick sense of accomplishment.  Volunteer at a local charity or get involved in community events.  Check with your local schools or community organizations to see how you could make a difference.  Be careful, however.  If lack of time is a major cause of stress for you, don't go overboard joining activities.  By and large, there are volunteer opportunities to fit every interest and schedule
 

4.  HAVE A LAUGH

    Laughter is a great way to reduce stress, according to Annette Goodheart, a California psychotherapist who specializes in laughter therapy.  "It's a cathartic process that rebalances the chemistry of stress and tension."

    Laughter gives many body systems a good workout.  Goodheart says laughter can positively affect the immune system, the heart, and lungs, for instance.  Laughter relieves tension by relaxing the body and mind.

    You don't need to hang out nightly at the local comedy club to get the benefits of stress-reducing laughter.  The people who get the most benefit from laughter are those who develop a playful attitude toward life -- who can laugh about almost anything.
 

5.  GET A MASSAGE

    Muscle tension is a natural consequence of stress.  Relieve the tension, and stress melts away.  That's where a good rub-down can help.  Massage temporarily reduces tension as it warms and relaxes muscles, says Ralph Stephens, a member of the American Massage Therapy Association and a practicing massage therapist.

    Just so you don't get rubbed the wrong way, look for a qualified massage therapist.  In some areas, massage therapists are licensed only after they've completed a training course;  in others, anyone can hang out a shingle.  An hour of massage from an independent therapist can run from $30 to $70.  Some health clubs and Y's charge less.

    Be aware:  Avoid massage if you have a history of stroke or blood-clotting problems.
 

6.  TALK, TALK, TALK

    Barn raisings, quilting bees, poker night, and tea parties gave former generations the chance to commiserate about problems.  One of the worst aspects about stress is the feeling that you're the only one who experiences it;  everyone around seems to be doing just fine.  That's usually not the case.

    According to Theodore Barasch, president of STRESSCARE Systems, Inc., a stress-management firm, there are people all around you who share your feelings.  Once you discover that you're not alone, many of your stresses become much more manageable.  What a relief!

    Today, there are parent support groups, illness support groups, retiree support groups, and other groups available in most areas that can help you talk through your problems.  Many of these groups can be found through your local church or community centre and cost little or no money.  In some cases, the group is led by a professional who teaches stress reduction or behaviour modification techniques.
 

7.  IMMERSE YOURSELF

    George Mount, executive director of the American Academy of Behavioral Medicine, says many people should turn to weekend hobbies to relieve stress.  Any activity will do:  movies, needlework, reading, building model plains or trains -- whatever you consider relaxing.  If gluing tiny parts will make you gnash your teeth, find another way to get away from it all.

    Want to really get away?  A lot of people are taking short vacations and three-day weekends.  That way, less work piles up while you're gone and you have more opportunities to relax throughout the year.
 

    The Chinese word for crisis combines the symbols for danger and opportunity.  Stress is just that:  danger and opportunity.  Too much can be damaging emotionally and physically.  On the other hand, too little stress can produce profound boredom and lead to serious mental illness.

    Dr. Roger Ritvo, dean of the University of New Hampshire's School of  Health and Human Services, says stress -- if properly harnessed -- can add zest to living and spur accomplishment.  He adds that without a touch of stress in their daily lives, people wouldn't get anything done.

    "If you think of stress as energy,"  he advises,  "then it's all in how you manage it.  The trick is finding that optimum where there is just enough stress to avoid complacency, but not so much that it causes burnout."

    Here are a few more tips for better living through stress:

• Don't be afraid to make commitments, but do make commitments as specific as you can.
• Set deadlines for finishing jobs.  Nothing sparks production like a firm completion date.
• Prepare contingency plans.  Whenever possible, think through alternative ways to accomplish your goals.
• Practice "what if?" thinking.  Keep reminding yourself that the penalties for failing are usually trivial compared with the benefits of success.
• Know your own signs of excess stress.  Common symptoms include headaches, upset stomach, personality changes, and chronic tiredness.  Get more sleep and exercise.  Take quiet, meditative breaks.  Eat a balanced diet with plenty of fruits and vegetables, and less alcohol and caffeine.